Today marks a hugely exciting, very important, massively significant day for Zombie Dating 101: Our patented, trademarked, exclusive dateology machine launches. Whoo-hoo!
It has taken us years to refine, but now this sophisticated mechanism is finally ready to help you have your best zombie relationship ever. It will help you
- identify common relationship trouble spots
- rectify bad dating habits
- explain puzzling zombie behavior
- empower you to have the boyzomb you deserve
And it’s entirely at your disposal. I guarantee it—personally. How can I do that? Because this amazing new device is…me! I’ve spent the last three years bungling my way through every awkward dating experience in the world. Inconvenient smell? Check. Irate ex? Check. Missing cat suspected of being devoured by a poorly medicated beau? Check. Lost eyeball in the soup? Check. (I challenge you to find a bowl of soup on the island of Manhattan that one of my zombie date’s eyes hasn’t fallen into.)
I’ve suffered every excruciating moment so you don’t have to.
To get the Zombie Dating 101 dateographer working for you, simply click Help me, Hattie and answer the brief survey, which provides all the information I need to help me help you solve your relationship woes.
Don’t hesitate. Click Help me, Hattie today and let’s start working on it together!