So you’ve finally decided you’ve had enough of Wall Street alpha males. Good for you! But you’re still not sure you want to date a zombie. That’s understandable. Millions of women share your concerns. Dating expert and media commentator Evan Marc Katz thinks you should keep an open mind. Here, he makes a case for dating the undead and provides pointers for a memorable first date.
As a dating coach for smart, strong, successful women, you can only imagine the number of requests I get for tips on how to better connect with zombies. Today’s working girl doesn’t need some Wall Street alpha male who is too busy climbing the corporate ladder to appreciate that she changed her hair color or needs a spa weekend to detox. Zombie men are among the most open, least judgmental and appreciative dudes on the entire planet.
So if you want to connect with that cute zombie in the next cubicle, here are 3 tips that are sure to make him grunt with delight on your next Z-date.
1. You know how normal guys like to hear themselves talk? Not zombies! So if you generally try to connect with men by being a really great listener as they prattle on about their golf games or college hijinks, stop. Zombies are all about YOU and will keep lumbering and lurching forward as long as you’re doing the talking. Make sure you tell them about your funny girlfriends and your everyday workout routine. Unlike regular guys, they LOVE that!
2. Despite their penchant to be traditional and conservative, most zombies simply will NOT pay for the first date. Some say it’s because they’re unsure about the ever-changing dynamic between men and women, and some say it’s because they simply don’t have wallets, but either way, make sure you bring a little extra cash when dining out with the undead.
3. Most importantly, just be yourself! Zombies can sniff out a Nervous Nellie as quickly as they can detect the scent of a nearby severed head. So relax. Have an extra cosmo. Try not to recoil at the pungent scent of rotting flesh, freak out when he loses a hand in his lobster bisque or scream when he attacks the sommelier. You do want there to be a second date, don’t you?
To be sure, zombies aren’t for everyone. But for the young, upwardly mobile woman who prefers the strong, silent type to today’s sensitive Peter Pans who cry when they can’t sell their Bright Eyes–inspired acoustic music, you’re in luck. A date with a zombie isn’t only a thrill a minute, but it’s likely the last first date you’ll ever go on. Have fun!
Evan Marc Katz is a dating coach for strong, smart, successful women and the author of Why He Disappeared. He has appeared on the Today show, The Early Show and The Rachel Ray Show, among other programs. Read his blog at EvanMarcKatz.com, watch his videos on YouTube and follow him on Twitter @evanmarckatz.