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Free Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies condoms!

13 Feb

Girls Guide Condoms croppedWe know. We know. The last thing a Girl Guide like you needs in her zombie-dating surival kit is a condom. Needle and thread for unexpected limb loss? Oh, yeah. Freeze-dried cat brains to ward off attacks on your neighbor’s dog? A must. But condoms? Sex with a zombie is 100 percent risk-free—no muss, no fuss and, if you’re having a particularly good day, no detatched digits. (And if you aren’t, you have your handy sewing kit at the ready!)

We’re totally on your page, so we know you’ll get a kick out of these post-human-male-intercourse-era condoms. Use them as coasters, Christmas Tree decorations or bookmarks. Unwrap a few, blow them up amd play zombie-condom-balloon dodge ball. The possibilities are endless.

But don’t let the irony fool you. These condoms are FDA-approved and entirely functional. Plus, they’re good until June 2016—which gives you plenty of time to invent a cure for zombism, administer it and wait for the zombie of your dreams to turn back into a human male.

Intrigued? Hooked? Unable to take another breath without sporting a zombie-condom pin on your lapel right this very minute? No worries. This hot new fashion accessory and relic of a bygone age can be yours with the purchase of The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies. Buy a copy anytime from February 13 to February 20 and send the receipt to ZombieDatingCentral
@gmail.com and we’ll drop a condom in the mail to you.
It’s that easy. Want a matching pair of condoms to wear as earrings? Buy two books. Want to make a belt? Buy two dozen. Whatever works for you.

So go buy a book now and send us the receipt. Condom-distribution experts are standing by!

Offer good while supplies last, so act now.

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Zombies make whoopie

29 Nov
Here at the Girls’ Guide, we know what really makes the world go round: love…of yummy sweet treats. Sure, canoodling with your sweetheart is pretty swell, too, but nothing beats a warm-from-the-oven whoopee pie.
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So to kick off this holiday season, we’re offering Girl Guides (and Boy Guides, if we happen to find any under the Christmas tree) a free whoopie pie with the purchase of The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies. There’s no better way to relax and reenergize than with a One Girl Cookies whoopie pie. See you there!
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WHAT: Free whoopie pie with purchase of The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies.
WHERE: One of two One Girl Cookies locations in Brooklyn: Dumbo (33 Main Street at the corner of Water Street) and Cobble Hill (64 Dean Street between Smith Street and Boerum Place)
WHEN: Friday, November 30th through Sunday, December 2nd
WHY: Because One Girl Cookies whoopie pies totally rock! Even Martha Stewart called them “a flavorful and crowd-pleasing party treat.”
HOW: Present a valid receipt for The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies; printed receipts and digital receipts displayed on a laptop, tablet or smartphone will be accepted. The offer is limited to one whoopie pie per receipt and is available while supplies last.