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Free Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies condoms!

13 Feb

Girls Guide Condoms croppedWe know. We know. The last thing a Girl Guide like you needs in her zombie-dating surival kit is a condom. Needle and thread for unexpected limb loss? Oh, yeah. Freeze-dried cat brains to ward off attacks on your neighbor’s dog? A must. But condoms? Sex with a zombie is 100 percent risk-free—no muss, no fuss and, if you’re having a particularly good day, no detatched digits. (And if you aren’t, you have your handy sewing kit at the ready!)

We’re totally on your page, so we know you’ll get a kick out of these post-human-male-intercourse-era condoms. Use them as coasters, Christmas Tree decorations or bookmarks. Unwrap a few, blow them up amd play zombie-condom-balloon dodge ball. The possibilities are endless.

But don’t let the irony fool you. These condoms are FDA-approved and entirely functional. Plus, they’re good until June 2016—which gives you plenty of time to invent a cure for zombism, administer it and wait for the zombie of your dreams to turn back into a human male.

Intrigued? Hooked? Unable to take another breath without sporting a zombie-condom pin on your lapel right this very minute? No worries. This hot new fashion accessory and relic of a bygone age can be yours with the purchase of The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies. Buy a copy anytime from February 13 to February 20 and send the receipt to ZombieDatingCentral and we’ll drop a condom in the mail to you.
It’s that easy. Want a matching pair of condoms to wear as earrings? Buy two books. Want to make a belt? Buy two dozen. Whatever works for you.

So go buy a book now and send us the receipt. Condom-distribution experts are standing by!

Offer good while supplies last, so act now.


Zombies make whoopie

29 Nov
Here at the Girls’ Guide, we know what really makes the world go round: love…of yummy sweet treats. Sure, canoodling with your sweetheart is pretty swell, too, but nothing beats a warm-from-the-oven whoopee pie.
So to kick off this holiday season, we’re offering Girl Guides (and Boy Guides, if we happen to find any under the Christmas tree) a free whoopie pie with the purchase of The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies. There’s no better way to relax and reenergize than with a One Girl Cookies whoopie pie. See you there!
WHAT: Free whoopie pie with purchase of The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies.
WHERE: One of two One Girl Cookies locations in Brooklyn: Dumbo (33 Main Street at the corner of Water Street) and Cobble Hill (64 Dean Street between Smith Street and Boerum Place)
WHEN: Friday, November 30th through Sunday, December 2nd
WHY: Because One Girl Cookies whoopie pies totally rock! Even Martha Stewart called them “a flavorful and crowd-pleasing party treat.”
HOW: Present a valid receipt for The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies; printed receipts and digital receipts displayed on a laptop, tablet or smartphone will be accepted. The offer is limited to one whoopie pie per receipt and is available while supplies last.